Everybody’s A Little Bit Racist : MUPPET VIDEO

This old blog was inspired by muppets

Back then I could drink a 400 pound Irishman under the table and would be dead by now if I hadn’t quit srinking.

hate black beans.  They are crunchy and pollute good mexican dishes.

I hate mexicans.  They suck up all the food stamps and all they buy with them are nachos and refried “beans”.  I’m not sure those things qualify to be called beans.

I hate jews.  They empty out all the sales racks and leave poor white folk with nuthin.

I hate Chinese people.  There are just to many of them and they all think just alike,  above my head.

I hate the Japanese.  They sell all the cars and put white people out of work.

I hate black people.  They drive to slow; except for the ones that drive to fast.

I hate Germans.  They’re mouthy.

I hate the Irish.  They make MY drinking habit look like child’s play.

I hate Indians.  No, not Native American Indians.  I am one.  Pottawatomie.

I hate Apaches and Comanchees.

I hate gay people.  They’re way funnier than I me.

I especially late lesbians.  They cut their hair funny.

I hate heroine addicts.  They get all the good methadone and leave me nuthin but pot.

I hate pot smokers.  They think they’re so smart, but they’re really just stupid people with large vocabularies.

I hate Republicans.  They like to start wars and kill people I hate causing the unnecessary deaths of numerous Americans I would probably hate if I ever met them.

I hate Democrats.  They mostly sound like potheads, stupid people with large vocabularies, peace and love and shut the fukk up.

I am French, Dutch, Irish, English, Pottawatomie and Cherokee and yes, as a matter of fact, I did steal my own land.  I’m a rat bastard that way.  I also raped my peoples’ women.  I owe me big time.  But I hate me to much to pay up. 

And I hate you too.  You’re absurd and I detest sharing oxygen with you.

DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO STOLEN FROM A FELLOW BLOGGER WHO DIDN’T HAVE TO ADD A DISCLAIMER FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE DOES NOT AGREE BUT DOES AND UNDERSTANDS COMPLETELY THAT HATE IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD, AS DO I AND THE LAWYERS I DID NOT HIRE TO THROW TOGETHER THIS DISCLAIMER AS IT WOULD BE UNNECESSARY FOR ME TO PAY THEIR HIGH FEES WHEN I’M SMARTER THAN ALL LAWYERS, WHICH IS WHY NONE OF THEM WILL HIRE ME AND I HAVE TO SEEK A NEW PROFESSSION SO I SEEK SUCH IN THE MEDICAL FIELD CAUSE I KNOW I CAN OUTSMART ANY DOCTOR BECAUSE THEY HAVE PRESCRIPTION PADS AND ARE SO STRUNG OUT ON XANAX THAT THEY WILL NOT PRESCRIBE ANY TO THEIR PATIENTS OUT OF FEAR THE PHARMACIES WILL RUN OUT OF XANAX AND NOT BE ABLE TO FILL THEIR PRESCRIPTIONS BUT WILL OVERDRUG CHILDREN WITH RITALIN CAUSE, WHAT THE HELL, CHILDREN MAKE GOOD MONEY FOR THEIR FAMILIES BY SELLING SAID RITALIN TO GROWN UPS WHO CANNOT BE XANAX OR METHADONE ADDICTS BECAUSE OF THE DOCTORS AND HEROINE ADDICTS WHO INSIST ON HOGGING IT ALL AND NOT SHARING EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL SUPPOSEDLY LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN THAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE BUT DON’T CARE BECAUSE THEIR KINDERGARTEN TEACHERS DID NOT SHARE THEIR RUM AND MARLBOROS WITH THEM AND THEY HAD TO WAIT TILL GRADE SCHOOL TO GET RUM AND MARLBOROS FROM THEIR PEERS AND SEX FROM THEIR TEACHERS WHO WOULD NOT HAVE AIDS IF THEY WERE NOT GAY AND I DON’T REALLY HATE ANYONE; HOWEVER I DO HAVE A STRONG OPINION ABOUT IGNORANCE WHICH IS, BY THE WAY, AGAINST THE LAW UNLESS YOU ARE A RUTHLESS POWER-HAPPY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. I AM A CHRISTIAN WHO LOVES EVERYONE WHETHER I LIKE THEM OR NOT SO EVERYTHING SAID BEFORE THIS SENTENCE IS A LOAD OF FICTIONAL BULLCACA WITH A WHOLE LOTTA TYPOS AND I DON’T GIVE A RED HOT GOLLY DERN.

Rock Me Gently To Sleep

I’m feeling not much better.  But I know I can count on you, our love’s unfettered.  Rock me back to sleep.  I still feel woozy and stuffy, head to feet.

Just ignore the horses’ clatter.  You and I know facts, not blabber.  They’ll never trot with grace nor gain admission.  They weren’t bred for competition.

So come on, baby, rock me gently to sleep. This love is so deep, all I need to know to feel safe and warm, to go and to fall into your arms.  Without a peep, I’m just about to sleep.

 

Polite Ettiquette

     These secrets I hold

honestly keeping my word 

      I will never bestow

sometime near the beginning

     I remember once you were

saying to me that you

     never fell for any lies

 only this one time

     then just as they have your love

at long last they’re always gone

     hell if ya miss ’em

always been kissing ’em

      I knew it was so

killing me with promises

      under the blue moon you loved

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

I am woman, I am mom

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

You are a woman’s child

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

You’ve two feet just like me

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

You always look sad

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

Your chubbiness of cheek

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

I see your silver linings

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

You simply shine bright

I L💙ve Y💛u Because

I’m a grown up, I think

I wish everyone believed in harmony, but for th9se who don’t I l💙ve y💛u regardless.

I L💙ve Y💛u Regardless

  • Of harsh things you say, do, write, tease
  • Your greediness, wealth
  • Your inability to pay
  • Your size, height or weight
  • Your handicap
  • Your disability
  • What language you speak, how you use it, full caps.

I wish everyone believed in harmony.

 

Forever On A Lullabye

I dreamt a precious dream

Of powdered nights in spring

Just us upon a moonbeam

Along the clouds, gliding

From heaven so it seemed

In puppy love we landed

That feeling felt redeemed

Renewed in sleepy mind

Do you remember when

We touched for the first time

Down by the cotton gin

And warmed the wintertime

Oh, how I miss the way

The snowdrift caught your eyes

Oh, how I miss the day

We danced on lullabyes

Times were different then

We could never be alone

Things were better when

We left some things unknown

You read a self-writ poem

Before our friends one night

At dusk you walked me home

And kissed me under starlight

That was the sweetest kiss

I’ve felt in all my years

Cherished dreams of bliss

Come morning disappears

Oh, how I miss the way

The starlight caught your eyes

Oh, how I miss the day

We danced on lullabyes

We sat there snuggled tight

Upon a cloud together

All the way ’til sunlight

Our cares light as a feather

Sometime before the dawn

Trembling new discovery

Our innocence now gone

Beneath a willow tree

Modern times can’t measure

I’m glad we got it right

Sequestering our treasure

Of love we found one night

Oh, how I miss the way

The moonlight caught your eyes

Oh, how I miss the day

We danced on lullabyes

Cherished memory of your smile

How you clutched me like a doll

Let’s sleep a little while

In love again to fall

You’ve always been a friend

Our times I don’t regret

My friend you’ll never end

No, I will not forget

I’ve loved you for so long

Yet it feels like yesterday

I promise I’ll be strong

Now that you’ve passed away

Oh, how I miss the way

Your light caught my eyes

Oh, how I miss the day

We danced on lullabyes