10 Tylenol Gelcaps Only $3

Wow, what does it cost to get rid of a headache and not just put the nerve synapses out of your misery for 4 hours?  $100

This is not a price we came to based on a group of folk that aren’t you.  This is your own doing.  As far as you’re being blind, see a doctor.  For the dishonesty, eh, you and your listeners seem to enjoy that so carry on.

But you’ll have to carry on without me cause I got self-respect.  Sure, self-respect causes a lot of eye-rolls from my peers,  but I’m grown and I don’t give a shit.  If I do, you’ll know cause you’ll see my eyes rolling back.  

I’m guessing you know this is the best chance you’ve got of seeing my eyes roll back so keep trying.  And for the low low price of $5.99, I’ll throw in mouth-wide-open. Price is negotiable on an “Oh God”. 

Now let’s see the negative attention I get from friends that are not yours…..



The Fabulougreatif il Ones, One, Singular

I enjoy the smart, excuse me,

The less than complete boneheads.

I don’t see them often anymore.

When I do, they knew me before this, eh.

But this time it’s the other way around.

And she makes fun of them too.

Oh they don’t even see it. 

How do I ever get bored?

I live in a world full of leaderless followers.

They’ve been following air so long they

Don’t even realize they’re chasing

Their own empty heads and nodding.

With pleasure, they entertain.

Makes me glad their votes don’t count.

If you are one of those extremely rare gems.

Just smile, nod, smile, nod, sneak away…

Good to see ya.  See ya at the next show.

Oh, the show never ends.  I wanna roll credits.

Yeah, it’s more fun this way.

Wouldn’t want our idiots to shut up.

That’d be boring.  Carry on.  Bravo!

Huh? Shhh…

Throw ’em some fish heads or something. 

Oh, Bravo!!!  Improv!!!  You mean…

This lunacy isn’t scripted?  Simply amazing.

Fuck You Brad Cullpepper, Monica’s A Saint..

Sara, an honest cop, barely bigger than me, risking her life every day pulling over new yorkers, not for the power, but for the public’s safety. 

Troyzan, love him. 

Debbie, nut.

Ozzy, I respect your opinion. 

Tai, love you, hope Sara buys you a chicken ranch. 

Aubry, blonde, hpw many times did you ask Sara how she xould switch off from honest to deceptive knowing she’s a cop and that outwit is part of the game, like police work.  How, the police academy taught her that.  Why?  For a paycheck.  How does she sleep at night?  Knowing every single one of you did the same thing and are just mad cause she did it better and, dammit, women aren’t supposed to be smart and deceptive. Cops are supposed to be assholes ALL THE TIME.  She’s like 5’3″.  How dare she serve you your own medicine with shoes on. bearing your fruit, making you a sammich and taking your crap when you had to hear crap from your boss, just like she did hers all day. 

What a bunch of fucked up peoole this season! 

In case I wasn’t clear, Fuck You, Brad Cullpepper!  I think Buddha would agree.


Material Boy

Of all the filth you dreamt
All the smut you typed
You are a manwhore
And I told you no way
Yes, I could’ve been better
Better than you could even imagine
But you never could know
Cause I never wanted you
How could I?
Your kind can’t imagine a real woman
I stand in front of your face
You stand in denial
Filth could never attract a woman like me
Take a walk
Shake it off
Go back to your whores
I will never want you.


Noone Can Replace You

You are one a kind.
You mind.
You call him daddy
beg to get hit.

Noone could take your place.
You’re one of a kind.

Of course he got bored.
Who wouldn’t?
But he’ll come back.
He cheats on her too.
With YOU.
She’s not as dumb as you.
Noone else will do what you do.

And I was to smart
Right from the start
That’s why he uses
my name to lie
to you.
Your mouth is his revenge
against me for being
beautiful but to smart
to fall for his type.

Keep bitchin’ at me.
It keeps your eyes off
him, so he can keep
hittin on what you
don’t even see.

Girl, you got
genius in you.




From recent pictures, how many of you think I am fat, ugly, wrinkled and/or leathery?  Go ahead, be honest. Cause I won’t believe it anyway. I know I look younger than I am. I know I’m not fat.  Even at my worst, I’m only, medically speaking, target weight for my height and gender. My lips are smooth as silk because I keep them moisturized with vaseline. So who would say they agree with those accusations?


Lurk Jerk

Everybody wants to rule the world.

Everyone needs to control someone else.

They seem to have forgotten to control themselves.

Do that first. 

Give self-control a chance. It may not be popular, but I personally do not do popular. I just do me. 

I sit in my house never bothering a soul.  It’S amazing how many grown ups think they need to bother me to entertain themselves.
Fucking grow up!

That Itch!

You were dreaming, my finger
sliding up your inner thigh
I’m caressing your man nipple
cause you do like that
And as my index finger tip
reaches the Tippy top of your thigh
A cat fight outside the window wakes you.

You’ve got that itch though.
You can still feel my tongue on
Your chest rising toward your neck
And my fingers, now together
But spread have gotten ahold
Of you so gently as only
An angel could, would does.

Yeah, you’ve got that itch
You don’t want a cold shower
It wouldn’t help, much
You know what you want
And there’s only one
That can touch you that way.

Pick up the phone.
Get in the car.
Can’t drive fast enough.
She’s waiting for you
Keeping her hands warm
For you….just you.
That itch has her too.

But she doesn’t live there anymore.
And she’s kinda seeing someone else

Oh, but reader, do not fret

It was only a bet

See he bet his friends

He could make a lonesome

Girl fall in love with him

But after many poems

Back and forth

She jabbed with that

Itchy retort

Never serve medicine

You can’t take yourself


She chuckles as

He up chucks

His chuck wagon

Stuffed down like

A hungry douche

Celebrating a sure…