no fucking title 

Not off the couch

To your disbelief

Depression so severe

I couldn’t go get a knife

or meet with the judge

but that was from organizing evidence

A thing I won’t need to do 

next time.

Next time I won’t be subdued by

crippling depression.

If there is a next tume5

as I’m not out of the woods 

just yet,

Count yer merry blessings

You might still drive

A woman to suicide yet!

Keep trying.

I won’t fucking stop ya.

Keep trying.




Emotion Demotion

I give my loyalty to everyone I meet. That, in and of itself, might be called bravery. But I do it out of unchosen love. I don’t choose it. It chooses me.  Every moment of every day of my life has been self-sacrificial.  But love, love I have never received.  
It gives me great pain now. I used to be fine with it, even proud of it. I was only to happy to as a small child. I mean small, as in I can remember being like this as young as three. 

It started to bother me some in my teens and a little more in my twenties.  But I am now 47 and have never been loved not even appreciated.

I cry every day.  

I hate when I hear people say pain makes you stronger. It doesn’t. It only makes you aware of your strength. But it eventually tears you down, makes you weak.  I started life so very strong.  Now I am so weak.

Who could love the mess I have become?  Hopefully noone cause I never want to see another person as long as I live and I hope that won’t have to be much longer.

Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery.  Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice.  The spirit of self sacrifice creates trust in the power of love.



the nothing I’ve become

is coming undone

the anti-me has won

God, carry me home

once I was one of them

the angels that you send

but now I’m just a wretch

with no purpose left

drowning in my blues

I commit myself to you

devil come take my pride

everything else has died


He made one more threat toward her before being hit in the head with a jar. He was surprised to find out she can throw those things with such enormous velocity.  Then again there was a lot about her which had come as a surprise to him.  And therd was so much more to come.

The Fabulougreatif il Ones, One, Singular

I enjoy the smart, excuse me,

The less than complete boneheads.

I don’t see them often anymore.

When I do, they knew me before this, eh.

But this time it’s the other way around.

And she makes fun of them too.

Oh they don’t even see it. 

How do I ever get bored?

I live in a world full of leaderless followers.

They’ve been following air so long they

Don’t even realize they’re chasing

Their own empty heads and nodding.

With pleasure, they entertain.

Makes me glad their votes don’t count.

If you are one of those extremely rare gems.

Just smile, nod, smile, nod, sneak away…

Good to see ya.  See ya at the next show.

Oh, the show never ends.  I wanna roll credits.

Yeah, it’s more fun this way.

Wouldn’t want our idiots to shut up.

That’d be boring.  Carry on.  Bravo!

Huh? Shhh…

Throw ’em some fish heads or something. 

Oh, Bravo!!!  Improv!!!  You mean…

This lunacy isn’t scripted?  Simply amazing.

didn’t ask for no doctors
to explore my fucking head
just asked simply to be a friend
you stalked me instead
now it’s June 1 and
as before I have said
this was the day, no
wish I was just dead
forget it, I can’tell talk to you or anyone on here,
fuck you, fuck off.