I qualify to give you this information after spreading my first 22 years of life in 4 towns/cities, before fonding myself stuck in hell for the almost 25 years now. It’ll be 25 years June 4. If someone comes up and offers me parole, hallelujah, I will drop to my knees,and lick the jam from ‘tween theys toes.

Enough of that. Proceeding on.

The following are seven ways I find Topekans to be different than people anywhere else I’ve ever been:

  1. I have never seen such a cluster fuck of people with such poor memories and an average common sense level of another city’S most at-risk elementary school alone.  The so-called geniuses of this town would never have lasted a week at Wichita East High.
  2. They are definately against racism here, which is great.  But the same dundee heads have so much hatred for females.  I’m not going to explain the irony of their thinking. Any sane, rational being can determine there is no thinking going on there.
  3. There is very little musical talent nor knowledge of music, it’S history, culture, vibe.  
  4. Taste in any and every thing is just quite lacking really.  They claim to have culture. Their basis for this claim is that they do not care for McDonald’s. Great! Cultural hub of these United States.
  5. These people have no sense of humor. Zip, zero, zilch.  Okay they do love ’em some 5th grade level dirty jokes; anything starting out ‘Little Johnny’ will get them going.
  6. The junkies here ALL steal from each other.  That’s not most of them steal from people and businesses.  That is 100% of them steal from the same people whose secret lives they keep secret. Genius!
  7. I once met a couple of guys in a bar here. One was born and raised here. The second, guy one’S cousin, had just moved here from Detroit. I asked guy two, “What’re ya in for?” He laughed. Guy one said, “I don’t get it.” Guy two and I both laughed. If you’ll notice, nothing at all was said about little Johnny.

Good day. 


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