Once upon a time, there lived a dumpeckercock.

When I would say come in,

he would say knock-knock,

Then he’d smoke his pals, hard as a rock.

His schizzo namesake, just as lame,

couldn’t get in on the game,

if ya know what I’m sayin’,

him widdle buddy was just a widdle tame.

Then, of course, not to be rude,

Came another braindead dude,

Complete with his attitude

The head of our pseudocomical brood

This touches on fucking absurd

While out of view of their friend, the nerd

Handy to the second was the third

together they knocked up a a bird.

Shooting ‘tween toes some heroin,

Thieves, liars, rapists, they’d have been,

Rarely is the hero amongst these men

Blind, scarred, in love with heroin.

You see the old lady,

See she’s kinda shady,

Saw through the farse right away

Deny it though they may.

She called up her brother,

About those would-be mother-

Fuckers, who’d never get another

Shot at redemption from a brother

He said come and see me right away.

But they said no, not today.

They’ll be handed their asses anyway.

Could it happen right now? it may.

Memories do not all depart.

T’was a bad idea from the start.

Doubt they’ll still feel so smart

Legends like these always fall apart.

This may sound off the cuff.

That future looking rough?

Just you gonna be enough?

Will you still have the stuff?

Bless their one shared heart.

T’was warm back at the start.

Before they each took a part.

In a new clouded method of art.

We’ll catch ya up someday.

When they receive their pay.

The price will blow you away.

That’s end of this chapter, g’day.

Wonder you what is a dumpeckercock?

Why, it’s just a part of the flock

That smoketh a bunch of meth rock,

And then acteth much like a cock.

My obsession is your faux pas

Feeling it in the jaw.

This will not do, hell nah,

My finahal-ay-loo-yah.

We almost forgot about hick-ory,

And his new coparent, dick-ory,

They fly flags in hopes of vic-t-ory.

Equality for avianman sickory.

Chickens, they are what they eat

Bird brain to numbing webbed feet.

Having a pecker for a beak

Hatched for predestined defeat.

By now Lenny & Squiggy’ve gone home,

Leaving chicken little alone

Facing an’fallin sky of stone.

Won’t their little minds be blown.


I might have been a wee flocked

When i went off halfcocked

And wrote this little ditty.

But i was feeling kinda shitry

Alone with my self-pity

I will always hate this city.


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