Many times, all the time, alone. Noone had the time.  It had gotten to where noone even wanted to cry on her anymore.  They just did not have the time, ever, for this one lonely girl.

 Due to the self-medicating she had learned was her only hope when she was just 14 years old, she wasn’t safe, neither legally or by society’s hatred for her nothingness, leaving her house at all.  Due to the internet, nosy busybodies, entitled neighbors, she wasn’t safe at home either.

The self-medicating changed flavors from time to time, but always seemed to require she leave the house to purchase it. The more she left the house, the more she needed to take.

She told the internet people and begged them to pretend to care, just once in a while.  They couldn’t.  They just couldn’t be bothered with her pleas, her nothingness stench overbearing to these monstrous things, though she treated them as humanely as a sweet heart bore responsibilty to, needing never to witness any signs of their remorse.

It was a long time coming the night she fell asleep without putting out the candles and incense.  A passerby called 911 upon seeing the smoke, or the smoke signals, depending on whether you believe such a hard times girl could fall asleep without her own consent and planning.

At long last, a human form, a fireman, kicked in her door.  He picked her up from the couch and held her close to his chest to block the smoke from filling her airways. He didn’t know heavy sobbing stopped her breaths night after night for 47 years.  But she heard the words she’d longed for and begged for always, for the first time ever, “I’ve got you. You’ll be alright.” He held her till the ambulance showed up, then handed her off to the paramedic. Now she had two knights, but it was not the intent for the human heart to break that many times and still be made warm again. It hadn’t been her intent either, as some believe.

The fireman stumbled upon her social sites, where many times she had pleaded with them, “empty” threats, suicidal lies she’d tried to sell these internet personalities. There’d been no buyers.  He printed her words out and took them to show the coroner.  As the coroner exited, coming into the hallway, he saw the fireman’s eyes as he pulled the pieces of paper from his vest, holding them to his heart. There was noone waiting to hear the coroner’s findings.  The fireman already knew.   


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