The Burning Girl by Mary Karr

 

Audio PlayerWhile the tennis ball went back and forth in timeA girl was burning. While the tonic took its greenyAcid lime, a girl was burning. While the ruby sun fell

Audio Playersaa

Reminds Me of an Old Friend

While the tennis ball went back and forth in time

Audio PlayeWhile the tennis ball went back and forth in time

A girl was burning. While the tonic took its greeny

Acid lime, a girl was burning. While the ruby sun fell

From a cloud’s bent claws and Wimbledon was won

And lost, we sprawled along the shore in chairs,

We breathed the azure airs alongside

A girl with the thinnest arms all scarred and scored

With marks she’d made herself —

She sat with us in flames

That not all saw or saw but couldn’t say at risk

Of seeming impolite. And later we’d all think

Of the monk who’d doused himself with gas,

Lit a match, then sat unmoving and alert amid

Devouring light. She didn’t speak. She touched

No aspect of our silly selves.

I was the awkward guest everybody hardly knew.

She was an almost ghost her mother saw

Erasing the edges of herself each day

Smudging the lines like charcoal while her parents

Redrew her secretly into being over and

Again each night and dawn and sleepless

All years long. Having seen that mother’s love,

I testify: It was ocean endless. One drop could’ve

Brought to life the deadest Christ, and she

Emptied herself into that blazing child with all her might

And stared a hundred million miles into

The girl’s slender, dwindling shape.

Her father was the devoted king of helicopter pad

And putting green. His baby burned as we

All watched in disbelief.

I was the facile friend of friends insisting on a hug

Who hadn’t been along for years of doctors, wards,

And protocols. I forced her sadness close. I said

C’mon let’s hug it out. Her arms were white

Birch twigs that scissored stiffly at my neck till she

Slid on. That night we watched

Some fireworks on the dewy lawn for it was

Independence Day. Soon after, she was gone.

She was the flaming tower we all dared


To jump from. So she burned.

I was once best friend to an Amish girl who’d been killed in a fire by her psycho father. I miss her. She got left behind at 1916 S Madison in Wichita, Kansas with the father who terrified her. I want that house back. I want her back. 

Emotion Demotion

I give my loyalty to everyone I meet. That, in and of itself, might be called bravery. But I do it out of unchosen love. I don’t choose it. It chooses me.  Every moment of every day of my life has been self-sacrificial.  But love, love I have never received.  
It gives me great pain now. I used to be fine with it, even proud of it. I was only to happy to as a small child. I mean small, as in I can remember being like this as young as three. 

It started to bother me some in my teens and a little more in my twenties.  But I am now 47 and have never been loved not even appreciated.

I cry every day.  

I hate when I hear people say pain makes you stronger. It doesn’t. It only makes you aware of your strength. But it eventually tears you down, makes you weak.  I started life so very strong.  Now I am so weak.

Who could love the mess I have become?  Hopefully noone cause I never want to see another person as long as I live and I hope that won’t have to be much longer.

Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery.  Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice.  The spirit of self sacrifice creates trust in the power of love.

 ~Buddha

Cease & Desist Jeffrey Michael Patton

I am hereby ordering you,

Jeffrey Michael Patton
SW Beverly Court
Topeka, Kansas

to cease all communications to and about me, which constitute stalking and libel as of 06/18/2017.  This has been an ongoing issue for over one year.

You are also to stop hacking my Internet accounts, remove all spy equipment and take down all plagiarized material.

Failure to do so will result in court order and potentially prosecution.

Keri Covington

Everybody’s A Little Bit Racist : MUPPET VIDEO

This old blog was inspired by muppets

Back then I could drink a 400 pound Irishman under the table and would be dead by now if I hadn’t quit srinking.

hate black beans.  They are crunchy and pollute good mexican dishes.

I hate mexicans.  They suck up all the food stamps and all they buy with them are nachos and refried “beans”.  I’m not sure those things qualify to be called beans.

I hate jews.  They empty out all the sales racks and leave poor white folk with nuthin.

I hate Chinese people.  There are just to many of them and they all think just alike,  above my head.

I hate the Japanese.  They sell all the cars and put white people out of work.

I hate black people.  They drive to slow; except for the ones that drive to fast.

I hate Germans.  They’re mouthy.

I hate the Irish.  They make MY drinking habit look like child’s play.

I hate Indians.  No, not Native American Indians.  I am one.  Pottawatomie.

I hate Apaches and Comanchees.

I hate gay people.  They’re way funnier than I me.

I especially late lesbians.  They cut their hair funny.

I hate heroine addicts.  They get all the good methadone and leave me nuthin but pot.

I hate pot smokers.  They think they’re so smart, but they’re really just stupid people with large vocabularies.

I hate Republicans.  They like to start wars and kill people I hate causing the unnecessary deaths of numerous Americans I would probably hate if I ever met them.

I hate Democrats.  They mostly sound like potheads, stupid people with large vocabularies, peace and love and shut the fukk up.

I am French, Dutch, Irish, English, Pottawatomie and Cherokee and yes, as a matter of fact, I did steal my own land.  I’m a rat bastard that way.  I also raped my peoples’ women.  I owe me big time.  But I hate me to much to pay up. 

And I hate you too.  You’re absurd and I detest sharing oxygen with you.

DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO STOLEN FROM A FELLOW BLOGGER WHO DIDN’T HAVE TO ADD A DISCLAIMER FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE DOES NOT AGREE BUT DOES AND UNDERSTANDS COMPLETELY THAT HATE IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD, AS DO I AND THE LAWYERS I DID NOT HIRE TO THROW TOGETHER THIS DISCLAIMER AS IT WOULD BE UNNECESSARY FOR ME TO PAY THEIR HIGH FEES WHEN I’M SMARTER THAN ALL LAWYERS, WHICH IS WHY NONE OF THEM WILL HIRE ME AND I HAVE TO SEEK A NEW PROFESSSION SO I SEEK SUCH IN THE MEDICAL FIELD CAUSE I KNOW I CAN OUTSMART ANY DOCTOR BECAUSE THEY HAVE PRESCRIPTION PADS AND ARE SO STRUNG OUT ON XANAX THAT THEY WILL NOT PRESCRIBE ANY TO THEIR PATIENTS OUT OF FEAR THE PHARMACIES WILL RUN OUT OF XANAX AND NOT BE ABLE TO FILL THEIR PRESCRIPTIONS BUT WILL OVERDRUG CHILDREN WITH RITALIN CAUSE, WHAT THE HELL, CHILDREN MAKE GOOD MONEY FOR THEIR FAMILIES BY SELLING SAID RITALIN TO GROWN UPS WHO CANNOT BE XANAX OR METHADONE ADDICTS BECAUSE OF THE DOCTORS AND HEROINE ADDICTS WHO INSIST ON HOGGING IT ALL AND NOT SHARING EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL SUPPOSEDLY LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN THAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE BUT DON’T CARE BECAUSE THEIR KINDERGARTEN TEACHERS DID NOT SHARE THEIR RUM AND MARLBOROS WITH THEM AND THEY HAD TO WAIT TILL GRADE SCHOOL TO GET RUM AND MARLBOROS FROM THEIR PEERS AND SEX FROM THEIR TEACHERS WHO WOULD NOT HAVE AIDS IF THEY WERE NOT GAY AND I DON’T REALLY HATE ANYONE; HOWEVER I DO HAVE A STRONG OPINION ABOUT IGNORANCE WHICH IS, BY THE WAY, AGAINST THE LAW UNLESS YOU ARE A RUTHLESS POWER-HAPPY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. I AM A CHRISTIAN WHO LOVES EVERYONE WHETHER I LIKE THEM OR NOT SO EVERYTHING SAID BEFORE THIS SENTENCE IS A LOAD OF FICTIONAL BULLCACA WITH A WHOLE LOTTA TYPOS AND I DON’T GIVE A RED HOT GOLLY DERN.

destination, hell

old blog, circa 2007(8)
I’ve always hated repeating myself

desitination, hell

so fat
skin does not fit
live in a slum
can’t do anything right
bite nails to make it better
take to much pride
a basketcase
to good for this
to bad for that
you cannot afford me
not a golddigger
not a whore
not a nazi
not a racist
just me as always
but will no longer be
alone in a shell
but the ocean does not sing
american over twenty-one
albeit not free
you still can’t afford me
nor can I, breathe
told you before
just one last time say
not free
not affordable
not high maintenance
not available to you
not available to me

10 Tylenol Gelcaps Only $3

Wow, what does it cost to get rid of a headache and not just put the nerve synapses out of your misery for 4 hours?  $100

This is not a price we came to based on a group of folk that aren’t you.  This is your own doing.  As far as you’re being blind, see a doctor.  For the dishonesty, eh, you and your listeners seem to enjoy that so carry on.

But you’ll have to carry on without me cause I got self-respect.  Sure, self-respect causes a lot of eye-rolls from my peers,  but I’m grown and I don’t give a shit.  If I do, you’ll know cause you’ll see my eyes rolling back.  

I’m guessing you know this is the best chance you’ve got of seeing my eyes roll back so keep trying.  And for the low low price of $5.99, I’ll throw in mouth-wide-open. Price is negotiable on an “Oh God”. 

Now let’s see the negative attention I get from friends that are not yours…..

None?  

Hmmmm……

Condemnation

the nothing I’ve become

is coming undone

the anti-me has won

God, carry me home

once I was one of them

the angels that you send

but now I’m just a wretch

with no purpose left

drowning in my blues

I commit myself to you

devil come take my pride

everything else has died